Looking Now

Making time to intentionally reflect on the four months we've been engaged is going to be tough, but important. Even though we've been "looking forward" to this date in October, we have tried to enjoy the moments as they came. Wedding showers with family and friends, encouragement from other married people we respect, quiet moments of peace together, and the prayers of many a Christian brother and sister have made our journey toward marriage a pleasant one.

I have heard stories from people who experienced excessive conflict or difficulty during their engagement, but that has not been the case for us. It can be a stressful planning fiasco at times, but so many people have offered their services and support--to the point that Michael and I feel we should be doing more! There are still a handful of smaller details to put in place, but we will be ready for the day when it gets here.

Thanks, everybody.

One Week

I think the title is fairly self-explanatory.

Living with Boys

If you've ever wondered what our home will be like, here's a little taste of what you can expect upon your visit. We won't ask you to get under the coffee table, but do prepare yourself for fun.


Michael and Comanche will be my 20th and 21st roommates, respectively. I am looking forward to being Michael's "space invader" in a little over a week. The plan is to stay in his Overland Park apartment until the lease is up in December and then look for a bigger place. I really like this apartment complex though, so it's possible we could be there a bit longer if they let us go month-to-month and we have a hard time finding something else. No plans to buy a house yet--just keeping it real in a renter's world.

We learn many interesting things from living with others, don't we? Sometimes it's a positive habit or lifestyle, a lesson on making tea properly or household cleanliness, and sometimes it gets more personal. Sometimes we are confronted with not only our roommate's idiosyncrasies and imperfections, but our own hidden faults. Hopefully we take these and grow from them. I hope I have. I guess you can ask Michael in a month or two and see whether or not I'm tolerable.

One Month

Engagement is a liminal, surreal--yet happy--world. People come out of the woodwork to help you with things and to be supportive even when you can't keep your own head on straight. So far it's been lovely and I can't wait for the friends and family stars to align on October 3rd when we start this marriage ball rolling!

Wedding & Reception Site Photos

Families, here are some pictures of the wedding and reception sites for you to reflect on as you think about decorating (click on each photo for a bigger version). The last one is a photo taken when the Commons was still under construction, but it gives you an idea of what the Commons entrance looks like. There's also a small patio in the back that we'll be using--my mom has photos as well, so make her share with you! THANK YOU for all your help! If I were in charge of the decorations, you could expect a couple of candles and maybe a disco ball.

Wedding Accommodations in KC

Good news! I just went over to talk to Tena at NTS's King Conference Center (KCC), and there are still lots of openings the week of the wedding! KCC is a few steps away from the NTS main building (wedding site) and the Commons (reception site), so this is very convenient. And did I mention that ALL 3 buildings have FREE wireless Internet? Yay! Here's the info if anyone's interested:

KCC Room

Rate: $55/night (no tax, no extra charge for double or triple occupancy)
# of Rooms: 17 (4 with king size beds and 13 with two double beds)
Reservation Desk: 816.268.5501, 8-5 Monday-Friday OR sgarrow@nts.edu
Payment: Nothing due at time of reservation. Payment can be made by credit card at the Commons (see hours below), or by cash/check at the KCC front desk. Number of rooms needed and occupants' names must be given to KCC 2 working days before reservation, and any cancellations must be received before 12 p.m. on the day before the reservation.

NTS Commons Hours
(coffeeshop, bookstore, game room, reception site)
Monday/Tuesday/Thursday 8 a.m.-9 p.m.
Wednesday 8 a.m.-5 p.m.

If we book at least 5 rooms, I found out that the Lounge, Kitchen and Conference rooms are free for us to use, otherwise it will be $250/day to use those extra rooms for wedding stuff.

KCC Lounge

KCC Conference Room (kitchen on the side)

Forever on the Dance Floor: A Joyful Entrance into Marriage

I have to share this fantastic processional video with everybody. Mrs. Tiffany Kaye Sumpter (Maid of Honor at large) sent it to me on Facebook, and said she might be able to make it over to the States from Mongolia if I decided to do something similar. Hee hee...

JK Wedding Entrance Dance

It was such a hit (nearly 8.5 million hits now on You Tube) that the whole wedding party was invited to recreate it on the Today Show. In one of the descriptions I read, the bride was talking about how she chose to do this kind of processional because she had been involved in dance all throughout college, and loved the way that it allows people to express joy. As a musician and occasional dancing queen, I can relate to the desire to express one's deepest emotions through the arts (some cultures do this better than others). And as a theologian, I have a hard time with criticism that says it's inappropriate for a church wedding. If the expression of joy over a Christian wedding (when so many people don't even bother to tie the knot at all) is wrong, then I don't want to be right. So watch the video, and be joyful.

Wedding Registries

We started registering for stuff yesterday. It was pretty entertaining and we didn't have much trouble finding things we both liked and agreed upon. Dinnerware and cutlery TBA...

Michael was actually very helpful and even behaved himself with the scanner! We found that there weren't a whole lot of things that we felt we needed, since we've been living on our own for so long now. But there were definitely a handful of things that we would like to replace, such as old towels, bedding, and plates we've been using since college.

Mostly, we just don't want what we own to own us.

So, if you want to buy us a wedding present, that would be very nice of you, but it isn't required. We are more excited at the thought of having [nearly] all of the people we love the most in the world in the same spot on October 3, 2009.


Bed, Bath & Beyond
http://www.bedbathandbeyond.com/regGiftRegistry.asp?order_num=-1&wrn=-884706645

Amazon
http://www.amazon.com/gp/registry/wedding/3TTIXMI3W7AFP

<3

Save the Date!

We are gradually making progress on the plans for the wedding. It took a while to set a date and get the sites figured out, but as of this week we are prepared to announce:

Saturday, October 3, 2009, 2:30 p.m.
Nazarene Theological Seminary
J. B. Chapman Memorial Chapel & NTS Commons
Kansas City, Missouri

Wedding Styles

Lots of people are asking questions I don't know how to answer yet, though I usually attempt a response:

When's the big day? This weekend, at your mom's house.
What are your colors? Orange & black.
Where are you going on your honeymoon? Wichita, to see the crazies.
Where are you going to live? Yes.

Do people normally have these things figured out two weeks after they get engaged? I figured we would have to set the date first (probably Sept. 26 or 27, 2009), then pick wedding and reception sites (still up in the air), then wedding party (in progress), then colors, etc. Priorities for decision making are in some semblance of logical order in my head, but everyone else seems to be a little bit panicky. Who do they think I am, Princess Di? I hope people aren't expecting doves. They poop. The good news is, the dress has been purchased and I am currently scouting for reasonable shoes.

So I guess you could say our wedding style is "real & relaxed", if one must pick a style. We want it to be meaningful, fun, as low on stress for family/friends as possible, well-planned, and non-consumeristic. In other words, no, we do not want personalized tea stirrers, socks, or bathing suits. Yes, we want those we love to feel that way and to be part of the communal celebration that is a marriage.

I can relate to what Ellie of Mint writes:

At some point you have to stop reading (or listening) to advice and start doing what feels right to you as a couple and (maybe) as a part of your growing family. For me personally, if I hadn't put so much creative energy into our wedding, then it wouldn't have been our wedding - something would have been just wrong! And if I hadn't compromised with our families here and there, that wouldn't have been right for me either. (Read more here...)

This kind of creative energy and passion are part of my personality, so doing things myself (or finding people I know) is part of the fun for me. I think it freaks my mom out a little, but I got it from her so what can you do. Michael has been great about sharing the planning so far, and both of us have tried to compromise when it came to details that the other cared a lot about. For instance, Michael's imaginary cake...

Newly Sprung in June!

A Red, Red Rose
Robert Burns

O my Luve's like a red, red rose
That’s newly sprung in June:
O my Luve's like the melodie
That’s sweetly play'd in tune.

As fair art thou, my bonnie lass,
So deep in luve am I:
And I will luve thee still, my dear,
Till a’ the seas gang dry:

Till a’ the seas gang dry, my dear,
And the rocks melt wi’ the sun;
I will luve thee still, my dear,
While the sands o’ life shall run.

And fare thee weel, my only Luve
And fare thee weel, a while!
And I will come again, my Luve,
Tho’ it were ten thousand mile.

Michael Wendie Engage!

Many of you have been asking to hear the engagement story. No doubt you have been on the edge of your seats for the PAST 8.5 YEARS. Or perhaps, like us, you realized there was a "time for every purpose under heaven". And since there is a "time to gather stones", I did so last weekend!

Michael Shane Brockhaus listens to me, such as when I told him that I loved roses because they were both beautiful and meaningful to my family. He listened to me when I talked about the Loose Park rose garden and how I thought it looked like paradise. He listened to me when I described how important family and friends were to me. These were the elements of the perfect proposal.

FANCY PUMP FAKE
On Friday evening, June 5th, the Brockhaus gave me a dozen red roses and took me to the Melting Pot on the Plaza. I have been there a couple of times with friends but had never experienced an entire meal there--it was fantastic! For one thing, they sat us in the "Lovers Lane" section, which was a little 2-person, curtained booth in the back of the restaurant. We began with a quattro formaggio cheese fondue with veggies, bread, and fruit, followed by caprese salads. About that time they came by with a balloon (!) and chocolate bar for me and took a fondue photo with us. After that was the delicious meat plate with a Caribbean-inspired broth fondue. There was sirloin, filet mignon, chicken, pork, lobster tail, and shrimp--all in tasty marinades--accompanied by more veggies. Delicious! Finally, to finish the meal, we chose a yin/yang chocolate fondue with white and dark chocolates. It came with pound cake, marshmallows rolled in oreos and graham cracker crumbs, strawberries, bananas, brownies, and cheesecake. It was one of the best meals I've ever had, and it lasted for a delightful 2.5 hours. This was followed by live jazz at Jardine's, where Angela Hagenbach was performing. It was an amazing evening, and it was a pump fake (i.e., trick)! A proposal would have fit in nicely, but Michael acted like it was just a nice night out. Sneaky!

LOITERING AT LOOSE PARK
The next day, Saturday, we had made plans to watch our friend Autumn run in the Hospital Hill Run in downtown KC, and then get brunch with her and her husband, Darin. However, we found out that she was starting a new job that week, one which required her to attend training on Saturday morning. So those plans were out. "But there's no reason why we can't still go out for lunch," according to Michael. But it was still a little early, so

"Do you want to go to the park for a while and hang out?"

Of course I wanted to go to the park. I heart the park. Silly Michael.

So off we went to Loose Park. It was a beautiful morning, and we walked to the rose garden to see the flowers, which were in full bloom. The garden had just undergone a major renovation project which had taken months to complete, so it was the first time I had been able to walk in the rose garden since last fall. I was very excited. We walked the perimeter underneath the rose trellises, stopping to sniff along the way. We got about 3/4 of the way around, and I paused to look out over the veranda at the rest of the park, which was lovely and green by that time of year.


When I turned around, Michael Shane Brockhaus was on his knee, asking me to marry him (with my dad's permission), and holding up a sparkly item (it was a ring!). I gasped and my brain took a moment to collect itself. This is a foreign event; how do we process it?

A few seconds later, I was on my knees too, hugging him and crying and saying "YEAH!" (In his recollection of this, it took me at least 5 minutes to respond, but don't believe him.) Passersby were staring, bumblebees were buzzing, and it was a wonderful day. After the hugging/kisses ceased, we got off our knees and finished walking around the rose garden.

"We're not through yet," the Brockhaus commented.
"There's not going to be a big crowd of people around the corner, is there?" I asked.
"Which way is south?" he inquired. The sun soon told him and we were walking again.

A few moments later I saw a lady jump behind a big old tree. We rounded the corner, and a magical picnic had appeared underneath said tree! It was Michael's mom, who had set up and been guarding the picnic until we arrived. She congratulated us and disappeared to let us enjoy the treat she had prepared--my grandma Pat's favorite pie recipe (peanut butter pie with chocolate rice krispie crust), which Michael had acquired from my mom. We had always shared grandma stories with each other, and discussed how much we missed them and wished they could have met our significant other. But unfortunately cancer made that impossible in both cases. So it was really sweet that he thought of that. We ate the pie on his grandma's china, using her silver and stemware, and he explained the significance of my ring.

The engagement ring was a compilation of stones and gold from his family. He had his grandma's original band repaired and had three diamonds set in it, which were from his parents' original wedding rings. This was incredibly meaningful to me, and I could not have chosen a ring I loved more. Interestingly, when the ring was being constructed, the jeweler was so impressed with the quality of the stones that he instructed Michael to get it insured as soon as possible (this would explain the millions of sparkles I see every time I look at it). The thing I like the most about it, however, is the number of years of successful marriage that it represents.

Following the picnic there was an interesting episode with a hawk that I will let Michael recount to you if you so desire. It's kind of neat, yet a little on the bizarre side...

When we left the park, we were soon congratulated by Darin and Autumn, who Michael had originally recruited to assist with the engagement operation, and who invited us over that night for a celebratory engagement dinner/movie on their patio. After parting for a few hours in the afternoon to alert family/friends to the impending celebration, we gathered back at their house. It was very tasty and fun. Not long after that we had the chance to celebrate with other friends as well. The Petersons bought us some Olive Garden treats and we were even able to get in on some Lindsey Kramer cake action at the Williams' house too!

Since the engagement I have enjoyed receiving many of your congratulatory remarks by phone/e-mail/facebook/text! Thank you for your participation in our lives. It means a lot.